This is just a light-hearted brief look at Xboxera conversations over the past year. Hope you like it.
Some satire, some humour, some observations, some Doctor Who references. Some spare time before going to bed, and 1400 words later, I have something that is necessary to share with everyone here.
Please do understand that I am writing this from a position of fondness for the forum.
Jon: Predrag helps us in the graphics Nick: I could have done that better, just saying Jon: *** facepalm *** Predrag: *** facepalm ***
Nick: I told everyone that you can't beat me at Rocket League Jon: He's right folks Nick: And Klobrille waited all night to beat me, and... Jon: .. and? Nick: He could not beat me! *** dusting off his shoulders ***
Jon: *** says something *** Rest of the chat: We can't hear you Nick: amplify your mic levels, Jon Jon: *** continues with his discussion ***
Nick: (to Jeff) I love you, Jeff Jeff: I know.
Nick: Send people over after you are done with your podcast Rand: Yes, I will ... Rand: Why are there more rumours about Playstation from you, nowadays Nick: Don't be a smart arse, Rand.
Nick: Jon, do you recall - What happened to my sandwich? Jon: Haha, I remember that one Nick: Yeah, such a fun time *** they speak about Friends for 10 minutes after that *** Jesse: *** facepalm *** everyone: what is happening?
Jon: *** plays the Rumour jingle *** Nick: Today I have a special Nintendo rumour everyone: *** facepalm ***
topic of discussion is Q OBM discussing why they should be discussing Q *** after 15 minutes of listening *** others on the panel: when are we starting with the topic Q?
Jez: Shrimp Everyone: What is shrimp? Jez: Ask Nick Nick: fsck - why is everyone asking me about shrimp?
Nick to Jon: I have information about Z Nick: I have been asked to wait on it Jeff/Dealer/X/Y: Announcing information on Z Nick: fsck!
Nick to himself: I have to space out secret information P, Q, and R *** Nick forgets P and Q -- and only announces R over weeks *** X/Y/Jeff: Announces Q Nick: aargh!
Jon: It is a Cerys Questions Nick starts wearing a robe and has a classic pipe
Letter in Week #1: Dear Xboxera Panel, Here is my question... Nick: (to letter writers) We have names. Address us by our names, He is Jon, I am Nick. Letter in Week #2: Dear Jon and Panel, ... Nick: *** holds up his middle finger ***
A: Indy will come out in 2027 everyone: *** facepalm ***
A: I think Q may not happen today *** Q happens shortly ***
Week 1: A: R might have issues Week 2: A: R has issue #2 Week 3: A: R has issue #3 ... Week n: A: R has issue #n
mods: All acquisitions are a quantum construct - they happen when you are not paying attention
A: I have a feeling they will buy P, Q and R B: really? A: Yes, mark my words. C: why? A: I have always believed they will
A: X will buy CDPR everyone: who is going to bite this bait?
A: I heard they might have bought 3 B: I heard 5 C: I heard 7 D: Wow! everyone: *** tearing their hair out in hysteria **
A, C, D: We heard so many ridiculous rumours. This acquisition discussion is too much everyone: *** tearing their hair out in frustration *** everyone: what happened to 7? A, C, D: I wonder who is spreading these rumours. I think these are all Chinese whispers.
A: I want Crackdown 4 half #1 of forum: we don't care about CD4 half #2 of forum: we want CD4
*** Sony shows KOTOR *** everyone: fsck! ... *** Game P appears *** A: I bet Sony has exclusive rights to P B: I agree C: I think they have bought exclusive rights for 2 years D: I would say that they have bought exclusive rights for P, and also have game Q moneyhatted E: I bet game R is also moneyhatted ...
A: Fscking hell, X can buy this large company P B: No, Q is larger than P, and X can buy them too C: Satya said, they were all in on gaming D: but is there a return on investment on P or Q A: Does not matter. P has super valuable IPs.
*** Sony offering service R *** A, B, C: I think they are going to partner with R D: There is a deeper connection between R and Sony E: Yes, this is just the beginning
popular influencer: I am concerned about a potential issue Q half of the population: aargh, this influencer needs to know better. 25% of the population: I don't care 25% of the remaining: maybe, he means this
A: why is C helping B with this game, C is a peasant in the world of gamestudios half of everyone: wtf is this opinion the other half: I am concerned about B
(Fission Reaction starts...) A: The P issue/feature is bad B: P is not so good C: P should have been like Q D: P is a waste of time E: X is always like this. P could have been like R. ... K: Could we slow down on this? mods: Requesting that we ease up on the topic ... F: Looks like we don't have a voice here G: P is like this, and the mods here are telling me to stop stating my opinion (Critical temperature reached for a fusion chain reaction. Fusion reaction starts...) H: you mods are @#$@# ... mods ban H for 'a minute' H goes to Otherera to complain about xboxera ... A: why can we not talk about P B: P is soo bad, we should be allowed to talk about it ... L, M, N - decide not to visit the forum for a month ... C: yes, freedom to voice our opinions is important. I have not voiced my opinion more than once. D: what C says! E: you folks are weak kneed and cannot take one person's adverse opinion F: I have barely said anything, and this is my opinion on why P is bad ... Q, R, S - decide not to visit the forum for a week ... F: freedom to voice our opinions on bad things happening with P is necessary G: P is bad and the mods are killing our freedom T, U, V - decide not to visit the forum for a month ...
A: They should have bought Double Helix B: X was in a bad position during that period *** 1 month later *** P: X should have bought Killer Instinct Q: yeah R: maybe but the acquisitions only started in 2018 B: X was in a bad position during that period
C: Why is Iron Galaxy not working on KI D: yeah, they should be hired to do this *** same cycle after 2 months ***
A: Why is X not making superhero games B: licensed games are not good C: ** rolls eyes **
A: X can't buy in Japan B: Not true A: Rules are not in favour of X buying in Japan C: Not true, here is the info
D: X can't buy in Japan B: Not true D: Even if they buy, the Japanese will not buy X or forgive them B: wtf?! mods: *** green message ***
repeat Culture Clash #1 and Culture Clash #2 every three months
A: X should have more JRPGs B: did you play Octopath A: no B: why A: did not like it
A: completed 70 hours on Valhalla ... Ubi announces game P A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing? ... Ubi announces game Q A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing? ... B: GoT is better than any AC game C: have you played AC2? A: (to B), Boy, you have no idea what you are talking about.
*** in the acquisition thread *** *** everyone already in discussion *** C: Why is this thread still not deleted? ("exterminate, EXTERMINATE!")
A: When is Sega getting acquired B: Yes, but substitute Sega with Capcom C: I LOVE Sega D: Yes, but replace the word Sega with Square E: I love Sega and would go nuts if that happens F: Sega is good because of reason #1, #2, and #3 G: Creative Assembly, Relic, RGG and Atlus. I rest my case. H: But what about Sammy? I: They have structured Sega for easy separation. J: *** facepalm *** K: where is the Dalek guy? L: Sega had the best MC score last year ...
Nick: #AcquisitionSeason Colteastwood: *** euphoric *** Jon: *** euphoric *** everyone: *** hysterical *** Nick: (later) the ideal season for most companies buying everyone: *** still hysterical ***
*** Sony buying studios *** *** Embracer buying studios *** *** Tencent buying studios *** *** Netflix buying studios *** *** Focus buying studio *** everyone: when is Xbox buying?
everyone: What happened to the xbox acquisitions? everyone: yeah, what happened to xbox in #acquisitionseason Rand: Ask Nick Jez: Ask Nick Jeff: Ask Nick Nick: fsck!
everyone: when are the xbox acquisitions coming? mods: These things take time Rand: These things take time Jeff: These things take time Jez: These things take time Dealer: These things take time everyone: aargh!
Jon: I am getting old folks. There was a time when I could play Halo with one hand tied behind my back Nick: I am old. I am 41. I keep forgetting things. OBM: Huh?! What are you two oldies talking about?
(out of syllabus)