This is just a light-hearted brief look at Xboxera conversations over the past year. Hope you like it.
Some satire, some humour, some observations, some Doctor Who references. Some spare time before going to bed, and 1400 words later, I have something that is necessary to share with everyone here.
Please do understand that I am writing this from a position of fondness for the forum.
The Humble One
Jon: Predrag helps us in the graphics Nick: I could have done that better, just saying Jon: *** facepalm *** Predrag: *** facepalm ***
The Humble One. With Added Swagger
Nick: I told everyone that you can't beat me at Rocket League Jon: He's right folks Nick: And Klobrille waited all night to beat me, and... Jon: .. and? Nick: He could not beat me! *** dusting off his shoulders ***
The Unheard One
Jon: *** says something *** Rest of the chat: We can't hear you Nick: amplify your mic levels, Jon Jon: *** continues with his discussion ***
The Fake Boyfriend Construct
Nick: (to Jeff) I love you, Jeff Jeff: I know.
Sparring Friends Construct
Nick: Send people over after you are done with your podcast Rand: Yes, I will ... Rand: Why are there more rumours about Playstation from you, nowadays Nick: Don't be a smart arse, Rand.
The One Where They Speak about Ross
Nick: Jon, do you recall - What happened to my sandwich? Jon: Haha, I remember that one Nick: Yeah, such a fun time *** they speak about Friends for 10 minutes after that *** Jesse: *** facepalm *** everyone: what is happening?
Xbox Rumours from Nick:
Jon: *** plays the Rumour jingle *** Nick: Today I have a special Nintendo rumour everyone: *** facepalm ***
OBM and Friends
topic of discussion is Q OBM discussing why they should be discussing Q *** after 15 minutes of listening *** others on the panel: when are we starting with the topic Q?
The Shrimp Conundrum
Jez: Shrimp Everyone: What is shrimp? Jez: Ask Nick Nick: fsck - why is everyone asking me about shrimp?
Game Theory. Part 1. You Blink, I Shoot Department.
Nick to Jon: I have information about Z Nick: I have been asked to wait on it Jeff/Dealer/X/Y: Announcing information on Z Nick: fsck!
Game Theory. Part 2. A Season of Spacing Difficulties.
Nick to himself: I have to space out secret information P, Q, and R *** Nick forgets P and Q -- and only announces R over weeks *** X/Y/Jeff: Announces Q Nick: aargh!
A Cerys Question
Jon: It is a Cerys Questions Nick starts wearing a robe and has a classic pipe
Department of Esteemed Panel Members
Letter in Week #1: Dear Xboxera Panel, Here is my question... Nick: (to letter writers) We have names. Address us by our names, He is Jon, I am Nick. Letter in Week #2: Dear Jon and Panel, ... Nick: *** holds up his middle finger ***
The Raiders of the Lost Ark Department
A: Indy will come out in 2027 everyone: *** facepalm ***
The Unlucky One:
A: I think Q may not happen today *** Q happens shortly ***
The Truly Unlucky One:
Week 1: A: R might have issues Week 2: A: R has issue #2 Week 3: A: R has issue #3 ... Week n: A: R has issue #n
The Weeping Angel Phenomenon
mods: All acquisitions are a quantum construct - they happen when you are not paying attention
Ouija Based Acquisition Discussions
A: I have a feeling they will buy P, Q and R B: really? A: Yes, mark my words. C: why? A: I have always believed they will
The Bait
A: X will buy CDPR everyone: who is going to bite this bait?
Pre E3 Perception Filter. Class of 2021.
A: I heard they might have bought 3 B: I heard 5 C: I heard 7 D: Wow! everyone: *** tearing their hair out in hysteria **
Post E3 Settling of Volcanic Ash. Class of 2021.
A, C, D: We heard so many ridiculous rumours. This acquisition discussion is too much everyone: *** tearing their hair out in frustration *** everyone: what happened to 7? A, C, D: I wonder who is spreading these rumours. I think these are all Chinese whispers.
Crackdown on Acquired Taste Department
A: I want Crackdown 4 half #1 of forum: we don't care about CD4 half #2 of forum: we want CD4
The Moneyhatting Infection
*** Sony shows KOTOR *** everyone: fsck! ... *** Game P appears *** A: I bet Sony has exclusive rights to P B: I agree C: I think they have bought exclusive rights for 2 years D: I would say that they have bought exclusive rights for P, and also have game Q moneyhatted E: I bet game R is also moneyhatted ...
A Trillion Dollar Syndrome
A: Fscking hell, X can buy this large company P B: No, Q is larger than P, and X can buy them too C: Satya said, they were all in on gaming D: but is there a return on investment on P or Q A: Does not matter. P has super valuable IPs.
The Conflation Infection
*** Sony offering service R *** A, B, C: I think they are going to partner with R D: There is a deeper connection between R and Sony E: Yes, this is just the beginning
The Discovery of Concern
popular influencer: I am concerned about a potential issue Q half of the population: aargh, this influencer needs to know better. 25% of the population: I don't care 25% of the remaining: maybe, he means this
The Burger King Conjecture
A: why is C helping B with this game, C is a peasant in the world of gamestudios half of everyone: wtf is this opinion the other half: I am concerned about B
Nuclear Fusion Reaction. Perspective from inside the explosion.
(Fission Reaction starts...) A: The P issue/feature is bad B: P is not so good C: P should have been like Q D: P is a waste of time E: X is always like this. P could have been like R. ... K: Could we slow down on this? mods: Requesting that we ease up on the topic ... F: Looks like we don't have a voice here G: P is like this, and the mods here are telling me to stop stating my opinion (Critical temperature reached for a fusion chain reaction. Fusion reaction starts...) H: you mods are @#$@# ... mods ban H for 'a minute' H goes to Otherera to complain about xboxera ... A: why can we not talk about P B: P is soo bad, we should be allowed to talk about it ... L, M, N - decide not to visit the forum for a month ... C: yes, freedom to voice our opinions is important. I have not voiced my opinion more than once. D: what C says! E: you folks are weak kneed and cannot take one person's adverse opinion F: I have barely said anything, and this is my opinion on why P is bad ... Q, R, S - decide not to visit the forum for a week ... F: freedom to voice our opinions on bad things happening with P is necessary G: P is bad and the mods are killing our freedom T, U, V - decide not to visit the forum for a month ...
Killer Instincts #1. Double Helix
A: They should have bought Double Helix B: X was in a bad position during that period *** 1 month later *** P: X should have bought Killer Instinct Q: yeah R: maybe but the acquisitions only started in 2018 B: X was in a bad position during that period
Killer Instincts #2. Iron Galaxy
C: Why is Iron Galaxy not working on KI D: yeah, they should be hired to do this *** same cycle after 2 months ***
The Riddle of the Superhero Game
A: Why is X not making superhero games B: licensed games are not good C: ** rolls eyes **
Culture Clash #1. The Innocent One
A: X can't buy in Japan B: Not true A: Rules are not in favour of X buying in Japan C: Not true, here is the info
Culture Clash #2. The Hostile One
D: X can't buy in Japan B: Not true D: Even if they buy, the Japanese will not buy X or forgive them B: wtf?! mods: *** green message ***
Culture Clash. Season Pass.
repeat Culture Clash #1 and Culture Clash #2 every three months
Grass is greener etc. department
A: X should have more JRPGs B: did you play Octopath A: no B: why A: did not like it
The Trials and Labours of a Ubisoft Fan
A: completed 70 hours on Valhalla ... Ubi announces game P A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing? ... Ubi announces game Q A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing? ... B: GoT is better than any AC game C: have you played AC2? A: (to B), Boy, you have no idea what you are talking about.
The Dalek Appearance
*** in the acquisition thread *** *** everyone already in discussion *** C: Why is this thread still not deleted? ("exterminate, EXTERMINATE!")
Marriage Made in Heaven Inquiries
A: When is Sega getting acquired B: Yes, but substitute Sega with Capcom C: I LOVE Sega D: Yes, but replace the word Sega with Square E: I love Sega and would go nuts if that happens F: Sega is good because of reason #1, #2, and #3 G: Creative Assembly, Relic, RGG and Atlus. I rest my case. H: But what about Sammy? I: They have structured Sega for easy separation. J: *** facepalm *** K: where is the Dalek guy? L: Sega had the best MC score last year ...
Earthquake Warning
Nick: #AcquisitionSeason Colteastwood: *** euphoric *** Jon: *** euphoric *** everyone: *** hysterical *** Nick: (later) the ideal season for most companies buying everyone: *** still hysterical ***
Reports of Mild Tremors in Other Cities
*** Sony buying studios *** *** Embracer buying studios *** *** Tencent buying studios *** *** Netflix buying studios *** *** Focus buying studio *** everyone: when is Xbox buying?
Fact-finding Mission on the Mild Tremors
everyone: What happened to the xbox acquisitions? everyone: yeah, what happened to xbox in #acquisitionseason Rand: Ask Nick Jez: Ask Nick Jeff: Ask Nick Nick: fsck!
These things take time Department
everyone: when are the xbox acquisitions coming? mods: These things take time Rand: These things take time Jeff: These things take time Jez: These things take time Dealer: These things take time everyone: aargh!
The Ancient Ones
Jon: I am getting old folks. There was a time when I could play Halo with one hand tied behind my back Nick: I am old. I am 41. I keep forgetting things. OBM: Huh?! What are you two oldies talking about?
The Forced Corruption by Sherlock’s Nemesis
(out of syllabus)