A Hitchhiker's Guide to Loony XboxEra Discussions. 2021 edition

This is just a light-hearted brief look at Xboxera conversations over the past year. Hope you like it.

Some satire, some humour, some observations, some Doctor Who references. Some spare time before going to bed, and 1400 words later, I have something that is necessary to share with everyone here.

Please do understand that I am writing this from a position of fondness for the forum. :green_heart:

The Humble One

Jon: Predrag helps us in the graphics
Nick: I could have done that better, just saying
Jon: *** facepalm *** 
Predrag: *** facepalm ***

The Humble One. With Added Swagger

Nick: I told everyone that you can't 
    beat me at Rocket League
Jon: He's right folks
Nick: And Klobrille waited all night to beat me, and...
Jon: .. and?
Nick: He could not beat me! 
*** dusting off his shoulders ***

The Unheard One

Jon: *** says something *** 
Rest of the chat: We can't hear you
Nick: amplify your mic levels, Jon
Jon: *** continues with his discussion ***

The Fake Boyfriend Construct

Nick: (to Jeff) I love you, Jeff
Jeff: I know.

Sparring Friends Construct

Nick: Send people over after you are 
    done with your podcast
Rand: Yes, I will
Rand: Why are there more rumours about 
  Playstation  from you, nowadays
Nick: Don't be a smart arse, Rand.

The One Where They Speak about Ross

Nick: Jon, do you recall - What happened 
   to my sandwich?
Jon: Haha, I remember that one
Nick: Yeah, such a fun time
*** they speak about Friends for 10 minutes 
  after that ***
Jesse: *** facepalm ***
everyone: what is happening?

Xbox Rumours from Nick:

Jon: *** plays the Rumour jingle ***
Nick: Today I have a special Nintendo rumour
everyone: *** facepalm *** 

OBM and Friends

topic of discussion is Q
OBM discussing why they should 
  be discussing Q
*** after 15 minutes of listening *** 
others on the panel: when are we 
   starting with the topic Q?

The Shrimp Conundrum

Jez: Shrimp
Everyone: What is shrimp?
Jez: Ask Nick
Nick: fsck - why is everyone asking 
    me about shrimp?

Game Theory. Part 1. You Blink, I Shoot Department.

Nick to Jon: I have information about Z
Nick: I have been asked to wait on it
Jeff/Dealer/X/Y: Announcing information on Z
Nick: fsck!

Game Theory. Part 2. A Season of Spacing Difficulties.

Nick to himself: I have to space out 
  secret information P, Q, and R
*** Nick forgets P and Q 
-- and only announces R over weeks ***
X/Y/Jeff: Announces Q
Nick: aargh!

A Cerys Question

Jon: It is a Cerys Questions
Nick starts wearing a robe and has a classic pipe

Department of Esteemed Panel Members

Letter in Week #1: Dear Xboxera Panel, 
	Here is my question...
Nick: (to letter writers) We have names. 
	Address us by our names, 
	He is Jon, I am Nick. 
Letter in Week #2: Dear Jon and Panel, ...
Nick: *** holds up his middle finger *** 

The Raiders of the Lost Ark Department

A: Indy will come out in 2027
everyone: ***  facepalm ***

The Unlucky One:

A: I think Q may not happen today
*** Q happens shortly ***

The Truly Unlucky One:

Week 1: 
A: R might have issues
Week 2: 
A: R has issue #2
Week 3: 
A: R has issue #3
Week n: 
A: R has issue #n

The Weeping Angel Phenomenon

mods: All acquisitions are a quantum construct - 
they happen when you are 
not paying attention

Ouija Based Acquisition Discussions

A: I have a feeling they will buy P, Q and R
B: really?
A: Yes, mark my words.
C: why?
A: I have always believed they will

The Bait

A: X will buy CDPR
everyone: who is going to bite this bait?

Pre E3 Perception Filter. Class of 2021.

A: I heard they might have bought 3
B: I heard 5
C: I heard 7
D: Wow!
everyone: *** tearing their hair out in hysteria **

Post E3 Settling of Volcanic Ash. Class of 2021.

A, C, D: We heard so many ridiculous rumours. 
This acquisition discussion is too much
everyone: *** tearing their hair out in frustration *** 
everyone: what happened to 7?
A, C, D: I wonder who is spreading these rumours. 
I think these are all Chinese whispers.

Crackdown on Acquired Taste Department

A: I want Crackdown 4
half #1 of forum: we don't care about CD4
half #2 of forum: we want CD4

The Moneyhatting Infection

*** Sony shows KOTOR ***
everyone: fsck!
*** Game P appears ***
A: I bet Sony has exclusive rights to P
B: I agree
C: I think they have bought exclusive rights for 2 years
D: I would say that they have bought exclusive rights for P, 
and also have game Q  moneyhatted
E: I bet game R is also moneyhatted

A Trillion Dollar Syndrome

A: Fscking hell, X can buy this large company P
B: No, Q is larger than P, and X can buy them too
C: Satya said, they were all in on gaming
D: but is there a return on investment on P or Q
A: Does not matter. P has super valuable IPs.

The Conflation Infection

*** Sony offering service R ***
A, B, C: I think they are going to partner with R
D: There is a deeper connection between R and Sony
E: Yes, this is just the beginning 

The Discovery of Concern

popular influencer: I am concerned about 
     a potential issue Q
half of the population: aargh, this influencer 
   needs to know better.
25% of the population: I don't care
25% of the remaining: maybe, he means this

The Burger King Conjecture

A: why is C helping B with this game, 
C is a peasant in the world of gamestudios
half of everyone: wtf is this opinion
the other half: I am concerned about B

Nuclear Fusion Reaction. Perspective from inside the explosion.

(Fission Reaction starts...)
A: The P issue/feature is bad
B: P is not so good
C: P should have been like Q
D: P is a waste of time
E: X is always like this. P could have been like R.
K: Could we slow down on this?
mods: Requesting that we ease up on the topic
F: Looks like we don't have a voice here
G: P is like this, and the mods here are telling me 
to stop stating my opinion
(Critical temperature reached for a 
   fusion chain reaction. 
   Fusion reaction starts...)
H: you mods are @#$@#
mods ban H for 'a minute'
H goes to Otherera to complain about xboxera
A: why can we not talk about P
B: P is soo bad, we should be allowed to talk about it
L, M, N - decide not to visit the forum for a month
C: yes, freedom to voice our opinions is important. 
I have not voiced my opinion more than once. 
D: what C says!
E: you folks are weak kneed and cannot take 
one person's adverse opinion
F: I have barely said anything, and 
this is my opinion on why P is bad
Q, R, S  - decide not to visit the forum for a week
F: freedom to voice our opinions on 
bad things happening with P is necessary
G: P is bad and the mods are killing our freedom
T, U, V - decide not to visit the forum for a month

Killer Instincts #1. Double Helix

A: They should have bought Double Helix
B: X was in a bad position during that period

*** 1 month later ***
P: X should have bought Killer Instinct
Q: yeah
R: maybe but the acquisitions only started in 2018
B: X was in a bad position during that period

Killer Instincts #2. Iron Galaxy

C: Why is Iron Galaxy not working on KI
D: yeah, they should be hired to do this

*** same cycle after 2 months *** 

The Riddle of the Superhero Game

A: Why is X not making superhero games
B: licensed games are not good
C: ** rolls eyes **

Culture Clash #1. The Innocent One

A: X can't buy in Japan
B: Not true
A: Rules are not in favour of X buying in Japan
C: Not true, here is the info

Culture Clash #2. The Hostile One

D: X can't buy in Japan
B: Not true
D: Even if they buy, the Japanese 
   will not buy X or forgive them
B: wtf?!
mods: *** green message ***

Culture Clash. Season Pass.

repeat Culture Clash #1 
and Culture Clash #2 every three months

Grass is greener etc. department

A: X should have more JRPGs
B: did you play Octopath
A: no
B: why
A: did not like it

The Trials and Labours of a Ubisoft Fan

A: completed 70 hours on Valhalla
Ubi announces game P
A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing?
Ubi announces game Q
A: what the hell are Ubisoft doing?
B: GoT is better than any AC game
C: have you played AC2?
A: (to B), Boy, you have no idea 
     what you are talking about.

The Dalek Appearance

*** in the acquisition thread *** 
*** everyone already in discussion *** 
C: Why is this thread still not deleted? 
("exterminate, EXTERMINATE!")

Marriage Made in Heaven Inquiries

A: When is Sega getting acquired
B: Yes, but substitute Sega with Capcom
C: I LOVE Sega
D: Yes, but replace the word Sega with Square
E: I love Sega and would go nuts if that happens
F: Sega is good because of reason #1, #2, and #3
G: Creative Assembly, Relic, RGG and Atlus. 
    I rest my case.
H: But what about Sammy?
I: They have structured Sega for easy separation. 
J: *** facepalm ***
K: where is the Dalek guy?
L: Sega had the best MC score last year

Earthquake Warning

Nick: #AcquisitionSeason
Colteastwood: *** euphoric ***
Jon: *** euphoric ***
everyone: *** hysterical ***
Nick: (later) the ideal season for 
     most companies buying
everyone: *** still hysterical ***

Reports of Mild Tremors in Other Cities

*** Sony buying studios ***
*** Embracer buying studios ***
*** Tencent buying studios ***
*** Netflix buying studios ***
*** Focus buying studio ***
everyone: when is Xbox buying?

Fact-finding Mission on the Mild Tremors

everyone: What happened to the xbox acquisitions?
everyone: yeah, what happened to xbox 
    in #acquisitionseason
Rand: Ask Nick
Jez:  Ask Nick
Jeff: Ask Nick
Nick: fsck!

These things take time Department

everyone: when are the xbox 
    acquisitions coming?
mods: These things take time
Rand: These things take time
Jeff: These things take time
Jez:  These things take time
Dealer: These things take time

everyone: aargh!

The Ancient Ones

Jon: I am getting old folks. There was 
    a time when 
    I could play Halo with one hand 
    tied behind my back
Nick: I am old. I am 41. I keep
    forgetting things.
OBM: Huh?! What are you 
    two oldies talking about?

The Forced Corruption by Sherlock’s Nemesis

(out of syllabus)

Lmfaooo this is gold

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We still like 11 weeks left. Who knows what stupidity and insanity may transcribe?!

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Too many unbeatable patterns already.

Some are just self-repeating. :slight_smile:

Also I know who A is 100%.

Not sure if I’m C or D. :stuck_out_tongue:

Reuse of letters across multiple scenarios.

There are few cases - which you will be able to identify easily. But others are just reuse of letters.

The fact that you did not transcribe the great “E3-Eve Defenestration of 2021” is a shame.

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I’m the Watcher. I just observe and write 1400 word summaries while Ultron tries to attack.

I forgot one pattern about full show leaks before the show, but was tired by then.

How about Game Pass on Switch? Haha


Where are my fps boost requests and xbox share complaints.


I think it (and your 720p TV) are all part of “The Truly Unlucky One” haha


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I feel personally attacked but I don’t know why.


Should we be concerned about this???


That’s a good one.

Apologies if that is the case, buddy.

I’ve done this from memory in one sitting.

A lot of of it is a reflection on the forum, so it might feel.like glimpses of what we’ve seen or done.

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No worries, I meant it in jest :wink: I liked the post haha.

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Feel free to direct some ppl and mods here. After the two pocasts and the related hysteria, I think, this thread might get lost.

@beastmode10 This is epic :sweat_smile:

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Thanks, Predrag. :slight_smile:

I’m not sure whether the rest of the staff has seen this?